Think, Talk & Act in a New Way
There is an often overlooked element in the attempt to create change.
Have you ever stopped to listen to yourself speak? Have you ever watched a video or movie and thought to yourself, ‘do I sound like that’? Frequently, we are unaware of what we are saying and especially how we are saying it. If you are a good listener you can tell a great deal about how a person thinks by carefully listening to the words they have chosen. This can be combined with observation of their actions to create a picture of the true motivations and passions of an individual. In other words, you can trace the thoughts of a person by hearing their words and watching what they do. Only after you change your way of thinking can you alter how you speak and how you act. This is critical to the success of creating positive lifestyle changes.
How you talk is most often a reflection of how you think . Although your words can also be a reflection of how you feel, most adults have trained themselves to hide their emotions. For example, if a client asks me something like, “When I am ‘done’ can I have _______ again?” I will respond by questioning what they mean by ‘done’. The use of the word done indicates that this person thinks of this process as a short term endeavor. They are not looking at this as a lifestyle change or a change in their relationship with food. Once we become aware of these thought patterns, and begin shifting them, then real progress can be made. Without this change of thinking, the long term success we are seeking will not occur.
In my practice, I have never had anyone come into my office with the goal of “temporary weight loss”. However, that is often how people are thinking. The thought pattern is, “If I can lose 30 pounds, then I can stop dieting.” Their focus is on the wrong thing. They think the problem will be solved when the weight is off. Then they are free to go back to their previous lifestyle habits because the problem is ‘over’. In this scenario the weight returns because there has been no real change in thinking or lifestyle habits. This is why crash dieting programs or fad diets have such a low success rate. It is estimated that less than 3% of dieters will maintain their weight loss for greater than 3 years.
A more positive and productive perspective would go something like this: “I want my weight to be in the ideal range and then continue my healthy lifestyle. I will then be able to maintain my weight and health for the rest of my life. This will allow me to live a high quality of life without sacrificing what is important to me.”
Take some time to think about, and perhaps even write down some thoughts about your desire to make lifestyle changes. Do you feel as though this is a temporary or short term change? If so, revisit your goals and priorities to see if this perspective lines up with them. If it does not, then how can you change your way of thinking to reflect a pattern of ‘lifestyle change’ rather than ‘diet’? Try to become aware of your speech to assess if it is positive versus negative or long term versus short term. This awareness will help you develop positive ways of thinking.
I have heard many clients say over the years, “I don’t have anything to eat!” This is clearly not the case. On the most stringent of recommendations there is a significant number of foods that can be consumed. This person is conveying that they do not have foods on their recommended list they like or want to eat! This person is looking at the process of changing their dietary lifestyle from a view point of what they do not have. This is a very different thought process than the person willing to explore the recommended foods and focus on what they do have. The second way of thinking will bring about a far greater opportunity for creating lasting dietary changes.
Take some time to think about, and perhaps even write down some thoughts on your perspectives. What are your attitudes and thoughts about eliminating unhealthy foods from your diet? What are your attitudes and thoughts about vegetables, fruits and lean meats? Do you feel you have a positive understanding of health, nourishing foods and living a healthy lifestyle? If not, there are endless resources to help you in this process – beginning with us! Please let us know if you are in need of further information. We are happy to help!
Without your realization, how you talk affects those around you and how they treat you. For example, if you are with friends and talk as though you are on a “diet”, they will believe that you are making temporary food choices to lose weight. Once the weight is lost they are expecting you to revert back to your old eating habits. Consequently, they will act accordingly around you. This means they will ask you questions like, “When can you eat again?” or, “When can you join us for dinner?” It is as though you cannot do those things now! This perpetuates your thinking of the change as temporary. If you do not think, talk, and act like you are making a lifestyle change, then no one around you will perceive that you are. It is important to communicate effectively with your family and friends so that they can properly support you in your process of change rather than being an impediment to overcome.
Take some time to think about, and perhaps write down, some thoughts on how you communicate about your lifestyle changes. Are you portraying a picture of determination when it comes to what you are eating when you’re with others? Are you uncompromising about the fact that you’re attempting long term, lasting change? If not, how can you build confidence to do this? Part of it may be to surround yourself with cheerleaders (those who will encourage and build you up). When you get to the point where you are confident and uncompromising, you will be surprised at how you can inspire others to healthy change as well! As we can attest to, it is a rewarding mission to have.
While no one can guarantee maintained weight loss with any weight loss program, the greatest rate of success occurs when lifestyle changes are developed into the habits of daily life. This should be a main part of any healthy lifestyle program. It is paramount in our program. It all starts with positive thinking, leading to proper speech, which produces healthy actions, resulting in the best outcomes! When all of these areas are in harmony with one another, long term success in creating lifestyle change can occur. That is what we focus on with our clients.
Keep an eye out for our next discussion point in this series:
Attack of the setbacks – getting back on the healthy track.